High Mortality of New Year Resolutions
Yes, it’s been almost a year since I scribbled here and moved to actuarial. Not sure of actuarial skills but I did pick up couple of jargons mortality being one of them. Unfortunately, I still find it difficult to comprehend mortality tables, but can bet on my life that any New Year Resolution that you took two weeks back has already died and even cremated. Let’s go back in time. Not too far though. It was only two weeks back when most of us proudly vowed to bring a change in our lives, right? Then why did we short-change the change? ...
Between zeroes and ones
It has been approximately 3.29637 years since I joined Kotak Life Insurance and tomorrow trajectory of my world would go through a transformation. Instead of revolving around zeroes and ones, it will frequent between the two numbers. The buzz word would be fuzzy and so would be the logic. Sending out emails through outlook would no longer suffice and excellence in excel would be the name of the game. Remuneration would now depend on accuracy of mortality rates and not quality of delivery. Bugs would no longer bug me but numbers might take a toll on slumber. The buck might ...
What if there is no tomorrow ?
Before you jump onto conclusions, let me clarify I am happy and having the most awesome time of my life. And you would continue to get bugged by unwanted "gyan" through twitter and FB updates. So, no respite on that front The question is what if you get respite from all the pains of life (including me) and Murphy's law strikes? What if there is really no tomorrow? Well, one can't really say whether you will land up in heaven or hell or toggle between the two but life may get worse than hell for bereft. That is, if you are ...
Finally, I am moving on!
I wanted to do this since long but have been avoiding it for no good reasons. But now it’s high time that I purchased a domain name for myself because any further delay may result in irreparable losses. Wondering what makes me think so? Read on 1. I am going to be rich and famous soon and probability of sumitramani.com getting "parked" is increasing day by day at an alarming rate. 2. The amount of traffic this place attracts can tempt even Bill Gates to install Google Adsense. By the way I have no plans of monetizing it at least not in ...
Just in case I am NOT reachable…
No this not a suicide note. Instead it's an attempt to answer one simple question: "Why your cell was switched-off/not reachable ?" Albeit the question is pretty simple, by now, it has been fired at me in every possible tone/pitch, in all languages I understand and of course by everyone who have the 10 digit number including those morons who buzz me to sell insurance policy, personal loans, credit-cards and the likes. I call them morons because they still haven't realized that I am broke and can't afford any of those :D So ladies and gentlemen if I am not reachable, it ...
Attention: Wine connoisseurs
Few months back Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle did some printing job of worth Rs 1 Lac for one of the wine manufacturers. Not surprisingly, the task was taken up in good faith and money didn't exchange hands. As luck would have it, the manufacture had to file bankruptcy and was not in position to pay back for the service.Well no prizes for guessing, the transaction was settled for wine of equivalent amount. Naturally, Mr Bhadsavle can't guzzle the entire spirit and is more interested in getting his money back. Now you know the reason behind this 15% discount sale. As they say ...
Yogi ki shaadi
Kakka was first to tie the knots (come on he was already 102 or may be 103 before he decided to take the plunge :P). Dev was next to follow his footsteps and Yogi bade adieu to bachelorhood few days backs (12 December,2009 to be precise). Unfortunately couldn't witness the liquidation of first two proud Jawans (of Jai Bharat club) but managed to made it to Kota when "Bhaiya" was knocked off :D Here is an attempt to immortalize the special moments and throw light on not-so-obvious part of this well-maneuvered "rollout". December 11: Yogi bhaiya and Ruchi bhabhi got engaged a ...
The unofficial-official trip to coastal Konkan
We started on much-hyped Friday the 13th but the only negative impact of the dreaded day was positive, a positive change in my weight. Thanks to my friends who were thoughtful enough to buy beer, vodka, wine, whisky, redbull but forgot to get diet-pepsi. But then I am sure substantial chunk of "extra" calories was exhausted due to the laughing riot that one had during those 2 days. [caption id="attachment_111" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Rama"][/caption] [caption id="attachment_112" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Ramani"][/caption] [caption id="attachment_115" align="alignright" width="150" caption="Sachin"][/caption] The gang was lethal cocktail of known/unknown/lesser known, young & old, single, engaged and married, teetotallers n drunkards, clients and ...
Mumbai stint: In retrospect
Exactly two years back, on November 12, 2007 I moved to Mumbai (from Noida) and joined Kotak Life Insurance. This transition from software developer to Business Analyst ( and from Delhiite..OKAY Noidaite to Mumbaikar :D) was facilitated by my school-time friend, Amogh Dikshit, who did "this" to me for 12,000 INR (referral bonus) :P. On the other hand, I chose to do it because I had a dream ( no I didn't want to sing a song dammit :P) , a dream to become an Actuary, which unfortunately is still far from reality :P. For no reasons, I thought to "document" ...
Tum bechne main interested nahin lagte ho …
Not surprisingly this sounds very similar to arguably the most famous dialogue from movie Haasil “Tum Election jeetne main interested nai lagte ho. Sirf issi ladki ka vote mil jaaye yahi kaafi hai tumhare liye". Last week I visited all famous and not-so-famous electronics showrooms (in vicinity of course :-)) in a quest to buy a laptop at cheapest price and with most freebies (can't help it, it's in blood :D).The output of this excercise was a BIG hole in my pockets :P and a bizarre finding. This blog talks about the not-so-obvious part of it. The sales guys, to say the least, ...
What am I upto?
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Yes, it’s been almost a year since I scribbled here and moved to actuarial. Not sure of actuarial skills but I did pick up couple of jargons mortality being one of them. Unfortunately, I still find it difficult to comprehend mortality tables, but can bet on my life that any New Year Resolution that you took two weeks back has already died and even cremated.
Let’s go back in time. Not too far though. It was only two weeks back when most of us proudly vowed to bring a change in our lives, right? Then why did we short-change the change? Did we? Did I hear a “yes”, a loud “yes”? I think, I did (waise bhi mujhe na shabd sunai nahin deta!). For remaining part of the post, I assume you to be amongst one of those lesser mortals (like me of course!) who did break his/her resolution this year (already!!) or in the past.
Let’s take a step back and try to recall the resolution, which as we assumed is already broken by now. Did it aim at:
- transforming you into a better person?
- increasing your cool quotient?
- improving your image?
- anything as silly as above?
Studies show (read my belief is) that most New Year Resolutions come with a shelf life of less than a week, and substantial part of remaining dissolve by the end of second week. Also, a recent study has proved (yeah, my belief again), beyond reasonable doubt, that resolutions are murdered by determination. The absence of it, that is.
Not a great finding, right? But that’s not the point one is trying to make. The point is, resolutions (New Year’s or no-New Year’s), by design, require determination. And anything that requires determination is against your will, or else you would do it willingly! If you ever wanted to, say, stay fit, why did it take a year (statistically speaking, half a year) for you to take a stand. What’s so great about 31st December? And even if there is a remote possibility of some kind of supernatural power being bestowed on the resolutions taken on this particular date, why did you break it in less than a fortnight? Reality is, resolutions make you go against your grain and lead to energy drain.
For or Against? Please comment, don’t refrain!
P.S. Writing more blogs per year tops my list of New Year Resolutions. 
It has been approximately 3.29637 years since I joined Kotak Life Insurance and tomorrow trajectory of my world would go through a transformation. Instead of revolving around zeroes and ones, it will frequent between the two numbers. The buzz word would be fuzzy and so would be the logic. Sending out emails through outlook would no longer suffice and excellence in excel would be the name of the game. Remuneration would now depend on accuracy of mortality rates and not quality of delivery. Bugs would no longer bug me but numbers might take a toll on slumber. The buck might not stop here and there would be no vendors to help one duck. Yes, on March 1, 2011 I would march to the actuarial department with probability 1! Good or bad? Let’s figure out next year and for now have a look through the rear-view-mirror.
A quick clarification before we move further or go back in time: One was not counting days but was trying to get into the shoes of fellow actuaries when one used the phrase approximately 3.29637 years. The explanation was imperative given annual appraisals are round the corner and probability of my seniors reading the post in not 0. Unfortunately, I am blessed with poor retention power and my recall is even worse. Fortunately, substantial part of the long journey (no longer a stint) was documented and rolled-out as part of release 1 at the completion of 2 years of stay at KLI and Mumbai. Those not interested in it should read on, rest all can digress for a while only if they promise to come back.
Soon after completion of my first two years, Amogh D quit the company. And I still wonder if aforementioned blog was the trigger point. With him moving out one lost a very good friend, colleague and more importantly flat-mate. With crib-partner signing-off, one signed-up on twitter, wherein one now cribs with many others. And in order to avoid potential monetary loss, Prakhar D was roped in. Room partner changed and so did reporting manager. Exactly a year back, in March 2010 when I was burning mid-night oil to move eInsurance portal to production server, my parents were trying harder to get me hitched. The toil resulted in much awaited promotion and decent hike. While this made task of my parents easier, chances of my moving to actuarial field got slimmer!
Interestingly, Prakhar got married earlier this month and Rakesh (reporting manager) parted his ways in last September. While Rakesh (and many others) decided to move out due to IRDA guidelines and potential slow-down in life insurance industry, I inherited infinite number of projects as fall-out. I was now father of Rakesh’s baby, i.e., eInsurance portal. Given paid services of Naukri.com didn’t pay-off; fighting back with the problem was the only option left.
Although the new sales channel offered (and still offers) cheapest life cover, it costed me dearly. While one failed to meet certain personal commitments (including taking CT5 and learning guitar), the pain came with loads of fame. Successful launch of e-channel meant most economical cover for customer and good amount of respect and visibility for me. By the time year 2010 came to an end, eInsurance stabilised, I lost few extra pounds, fear of riding bikes and the one left foot as well. Whilst credit for the first two (largely) goes to me, ability to shake legs is entirely because of the ace dancer Prakhar, who by now, had graduated from flat-mate to a very good friend.
While even today my guitar gently weeps and mom-dad continue to struggle with their quest, I sit on my easy chair, with smile on my face, legs stretched and fingers crossed!
Before you jump onto conclusions, let me clarify I am happy and having the most awesome time of my life. And you would continue to get bugged by unwanted “gyan” through twitter and FB updates. So, no respite on that front
The question is what if you get respite from all the pains of life (including me) and Murphy’s law strikes? What if there is really no tomorrow? Well, one can’t really say whether you will land up in heaven or hell or toggle between the two but life may get worse than hell for bereft. That is, if you are not sufficiently insured or filthy rich.
If you are not convinced or scared enough, try closing eyes and think of eventuality. Now open it, I don’t want you to die of heart attack. In fact I want to you to live for longer years and so would any insurance company, at least till the term lasts. How else do you think we make money?
Now that we know who should buy an insurance policy, the questions that remain to be answered are when, how much and how?
When?
ASAP. More so, if you are planning to commit suicide sometime next year. Yes, most insurance policies cover suicides!
How much?
Approximately, current CTC multiplied by number of years you plan to work. However, you can calculate your financial worth or Human Life Value (HLV) here
How?
Although, there are multiple companies and various sales channels, buying online is what I would recommend for two reasons
- More economical as it doesn’t involve any agent commission.
- Yours truly is so called Project Manager for one such portal.
Disclaimer: The aforementioned thoughts are based on my limited knowledge and customers are advised to read policy document carefully before buying the policy.
Kotak Life Mumbai by .
I wanted to do this since long but have been avoiding it for no good reasons. But now it’s high time that I purchased a domain name for myself because any further delay may result in irreparable losses. Wondering what makes me think so? Read on
1. I am going to be rich and famous soon and probability of sumitramani.com getting “parked” is increasing day by day at an alarming rate.
2. The amount of traffic this place attracts can tempt even Bill Gates to install Google Adsense. By the way I have no plans of monetizing it at least not in near future. The reason being the fact, that I am not rapacious like him.
3. Further procrastination would have meant more effort required to redirect my dear readers and I don’t want YOU to go through this painstaking exercise
4. Whenever someone used to ask address of my blog, I used to reply back by saying “Google on ‘Sumit Ramani’ and click on first link”. For this Google had agreed to pay a certain amount. And in light of increased popularity I wanted this amount to be revisited but Google is now acting cheap.
Guys now that I don’t have WordPress and Google with me, I would need your love and encouragement (not to forget money) all the more! Looking forward to hear from you at http://www.sumitramani.com
P.S. This was posted at old location (name undisclosed) to help you land here. Now that you are here and done with reading it, you may choose to comment as well!
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No this not a suicide note. Instead it’s an attempt to answer one simple question: “Why your cell was switched-off/not reachable ?”
Albeit the question is pretty simple, by now, it has been fired at me in every possible tone/pitch, in all languages I understand and of course by everyone who have the 10 digit number including those morons who buzz me to sell insurance policy, personal loans, credit-cards and the likes. I call them morons because they still haven’t realized that I am broke and can’t afford any of those 
So ladies and gentlemen if I am not reachable, it doesn’t mean:
1. that I am too busy to receive calls (come on I am still not a CEO)
2. that I am in an aircraft, I might be struggling in a local train though
3. that I am involved in some clandestine activity (Had hai shak ki )
4. that I am absconding because of unpaid credit-card/phone bills (tired of doing this, it’s no fun anymore)
5. that I have set “The number you are trying to reach is switched-off. Please try after sometime” as caller-tune
6. that I am trying to avoid someone/you. (I would rather call up some other person and ensure you are on “waiting” 
)
All it implies is that my dear Nokia E63 has decided to reboot itself (without my permission of course!) Thanks to VIRUS which made its way to my cell when I was busy synchronizing mails over-the-air
Uncategorized by .
Few months back Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle did some printing job of worth Rs 1 Lac for one of the wine manufacturers. Not surprisingly, the task was taken up in good faith and money didn’t exchange hands. As luck would have it, the manufacture had to file bankruptcy and was not in position to pay back for the service.Well no prizes for guessing, the transaction was settled for wine of equivalent amount.
Naturally, Mr Bhadsavle can’t guzzle the entire spirit and is more interested in getting his money back. Now you know the reason behind this 15% discount sale. As they say “Hurry, offer valid till stock lasts” 
“So many questions, I need an answer” If this is the song being played on your Mann ka Radio, post kahtam nahin hua hai “beep” would be my response
Q: Who is Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle?
A: Sachin’s Chaddhi-buddy and next door neighbour.
Q: Who is Sachin?
A: Rao Saheb! Does that the ring the bell? Well he was the hero of coastal Konkan trip and is amongst those few mortals who prefer wine to any other liquid. Needless to say he was the first one to steal the deal. On a formal note, he is my colleague at Kotak life.
Q: How to I avail the offer?
A: Here is the step-by-step procedure
1. Select wine from the scanned menu.
2. Zero in on the type and quantity of spirit
3. Pick up the phone
4. Dial 9820239124
5. Ask for Mr. Manoj Bhadsavle
6. Provide Sachin’s reference i.e. Sachin Rao, Kotak Life Insurance Wale
7. Finalize deal
8. Fetch the grape juice, fermented of course
Q: What’s the catch?
A: Since Mr. Bhadsavle stays at Dadar, Mumbai (and has no other branches for wine distribution ), only Mumbaikars would be able to cash in on the Christmas/New-year bonanza 
Q: Why am I promoting the sale?
A: I thought its good way to return back to readers for all their support, affection and more importantly for taking all the pain to read my posts
Uncategorized by .
Kakka was first to tie the knots (come on he was already 102 or may be 103 before he decided to take the plunge ). Dev was next to follow his footsteps and Yogi bade adieu to bachelorhood few days backs (12 December,2009 to be precise). Unfortunately couldn’t witness the liquidation of first two proud Jawans (of Jai Bharat club) but managed to made it to Kota when “Bhaiya” was knocked off
Here is an attempt to immortalize the special moments and throw light on not-so-obvious part of this well-maneuvered “rollout”.
December 11: Yogi bhaiya and Ruchi bhabhi got engaged a day before “first phase” of wedding. This ensured bhaiya could claim to be single till the very last moment (btw his orkut profile still says so ). Although one couldn’t attend the ring ceremony but tried hard to make one’s presence felt in Mahila Sangeet . This was followed by revision of college-time gossips with laughter and giggles in background
December 12: Bhaiya was damn excited not because it was the d-day but because of the fact that his sahelis had hit the city This further implied more raunak in baarat. On one hand people (read Nimmo) made successful attempts to steal the show and on the other I tried to fit in same 2-3 steps in every damn song irrespective of genre and tempo, completely ignoring the beats .
The baraat was followed by grand reception which further implied few extra hours of bachelorism for dulheraja. As if this was not enough pheres were also divided into two phases further postponing the bandhan.For uninitiated, second phase of the rollout is scheduled in January 2010, once the first release gets stable.
December 16: Bhaiya turns 2X today. This is very similar to people getting insured just before their birthdays which in turn implies lesser premium paid. In this case it probably meant more income generated:D Happy Birthday Yogesh!
We started on much-hyped Friday the 13th but the only negative impact of the dreaded day was positive, a positive change in my weight. Thanks to my friends who were thoughtful enough to buy beer, vodka, wine, whisky, redbull but forgot to get diet-pepsi. But then I am sure substantial chunk of “extra” calories was exhausted due to the laughing riot that one had during those 2 days.
Rama
Ramani
Sachin
The gang was lethal cocktail of known/unknown/lesser known, young & old, single, engaged and married, teetotallers n drunkards, clients and vendors (or partners as they may choose to refer themselves) and most importantly Marathi-speaking and Marathi illiterate people. In spite of this 6 of us had one thing in common; all were in dire need of a “break”
Chonkar
Butala
Shenoy
Day 0 (Mumbai to Srivardhan): The journey started at 8 PM and within 2 hours we had guzzled down at least a dozen cans of beer, had crossed Panvel and had cursed our respective bosses and “common enemies” to death . This was just the perfect time to give “them” a break and stop for dinner. Before we embarked everyone made quick calls to their respective loved ones which was a subtle way of telling them “No more calls please” . Soon we ran out of beer and it was the time for wine, which turned Saheb ON. Post this there was no looking back and Saheb ripped apart every mortal (excluding SVPs and EVPs) and immortal around him (including us). Unfortunately, substantial part of the assault was in Marathi (Happy Mr. Raj?) but it definitely tickled one’s funny bones leaving mouth and stomach aching.
Srivardhan
Shell beach
Day 1 (Srivardhan-Diveagar-Srivardhan): This unlike other Saturday mornings, started early and we were at secluded (well almost secluded) beach of Srivardhan at 10 AM i.e. more than 30 minutes before we reach office on weekdays. The remaining part of first half was spent playing with/in water. Post lunch, group headed to Divegar temple/beach and encountered many lesser known but scenic spots including the shell beach. The story behind Divegar temple was intriguing (although far from reality) but stood nowhere near its impromptu spoofed version, courtesy Saheb. During the entire day the only thing which remained constant was Nilesh’s quest to dig holes (literally) inside and outside water for reasons not known to any of us.
Day 2 (Srivardhan-Harihareshwar-Mumbai): Harihareshwar aka Dakshin Kashi was like a typical bollywood movie and had little bit of everything: beaches (sandy n rocky), temples, trekking spot, fishing zone, eat outs, hotels along with parking lot approved by “competent authority”: P. 
.Unfortunately, this movie was missed by Chonkar who left at 4 AM (on Day 2) by state transport bus
What follows next is an attempt to immortalize few special memories of the jaunt
Kotak Life Mumbai by .
Exactly two years back, on November 12, 2007 I moved to Mumbai (from Noida) and joined Kotak Life Insurance. This transition from software developer to Business Analyst ( and from Delhiite..OKAY Noidaite to Mumbaikar ) was facilitated by my school-time friend, Amogh Dikshit, who did “this” to me for 12,000 INR (referral bonus) . On the other hand, I chose to do it because I had a dream ( no I didn’t want to sing a song dammit ) , a dream to become an Actuary, which unfortunately is still far from reality .
For no reasons, I thought to “document” few experiences, key learnings, some memorable events and my current financial position, which by no means makes me feel proud
Let me start with what is of primal importance to most mortals (including me ). No prizes for guessing, it’s about money, honey!
Current Assets: 8,732.68 INR (not to forget we are in second week of month)
Current Liabilities: 47,990.32 INR (thanks to my brand new Sony Vaio + phone bills + parties etc)
Investments: Were made with an intention to save tax but played a pivotal role in discounting my net worth
Long term liabilities: Remaining 12 papers of Actuarial
Yeah I know, this would scare away every gal around me but as they say, it was important for the sake of completeness
Professionally,clichéd it may sound, it was a great learning experience. The transition from Business Analyst to Project Manager was painful initially but one got used to it later on . The credit to this, undoubtedly goes to Rohit Acharya who believed in me or pretended so . Setting expectations, identifying/mitigating risks, think/thought through using it to your advantage and building relationships are now most frequently used phrases in my verbal/written communications. In case you thought I am adulating my reporting manager for promotion/hike let me tell you that you are partly right
Personal life went through a rollercoaster ride and I loved it!! Ventured into a start-up (read mDakia.com) ,which sadly is not in good shape and would be closed down anytime . Nevertheless, I am proud of the fact that I made an attempt. Lost few good and some “special” friends and gained many more . Added few extra pounds and got attracted to hookah.
Memorable events? Very few! First one was when I passed CT1 and CT3 sometime in January 2009. The feeling was great especially after having met disaster in May 2008 exams. This was immediately followed by maiden trip to Goa. Not that I did anything great there but thoroughly enjoyed the “freedom” in atmosphere. The second historic event was the most difficult trek of my life, which coincidentally is also the first trek since I came into this world . Conquering Ahupe Ghats was indeed an out of the world experience. Watching Saas Bahu Aur Sensex alone at Fame was yet another golden moment of life
Going with the trend (read Bollywood trend), I plan to come back with sequel of this post next year, more so because I don’t see myself moving out of Mumbai (not sure of KLI ) in near future.
To be continued…
Not surprisingly this sounds very similar to arguably the most famous dialogue from movie Haasil
“Tum Election jeetne main interested nai lagte ho. Sirf issi ladki ka vote mil jaaye yahi kaafi hai tumhare liye”.
Last week I visited all famous and not-so-famous electronics showrooms (in vicinity of course ) in a quest to buy a laptop at cheapest price and with most freebies (can’t help it, it’s in blood ).The output of this excercise was a BIG hole in my pockets and a bizarre finding. This blog talks about the not-so-obvious part of it.
The sales guys, to say the least, were not really interested in selling. In one of the stores people were busy playing games (read Croma) and in other (Jumbo electronics to be precise) finding ladki in chatrooms. We were yet to recover from the shock when we encountered a sales representative watching porn (ALL THE BEST Staples)!! This obviously overshadows those (popularly known as Vijay Sales ) who didn’t bother to convince us when we walked out unsatisfied.
When mulled over one could think of “lack of sales incentives” as one of the possible reasons. But this,in my opinion, is not good enough to justify the act. I was wondering if anyone can help me with this?
Absolutely random by .
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